Thinking
by Rethira
Summary: James Tiberius Kirk does a lot of thinking. Mostly about his relationship with Spock. ONESHOT, slash.


Okay, I can explain. Wait, no I can't. Well, I can kind of. If you want to know why I've suddenly and out of the blue written Star Trek slash, go to my Livejournal (see my profile page for it). But anyway - I bring Kirk/Spock goodies! No I can't quite believe it either. On with the fic, or warnings or whatever.

Warning: Language, references to sex. A relationship between men.

Disclaimer: I do not own and never shall own Star Trek. I do not want to either. This fanfic was made with no profit in mind whatsoever.

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**Thinking**

James Tiberius Kirk thinks he is fully justified in saying that sex with Spock is a-fucking-mazing. Of course, he only says this in the relative privacy of his own head – he thinks Spock might know, but if he does the pointy-eared bastard never says anything about it. He sometimes wonders is Uhura also knows what it's like to have Spock in bed (or up against a wall, or over a desk, or on the floor, or in the shower...), but it's not like he's going to say anything. Spock is very private, for all that enjoys rummaging around in Kirk's head whenever he gets the chance.

James Tiberius Kirk also thinks that his relationship with his first officer is the worst kept secret in the history of the universe. Everyone on the Enterprise knows. And that means _everyone_. Even various dignitaries who were on board for less than half a day would give him and Spock knowing looks. Kirk is fairly sure Spock thinks he's completely and utterly paranoid, but he doesn't know what it's like having a fucking gorgeous logical Vulcan boyfriend who might just up and leave one day because them having this kind of relationship is _illogical_. So Kirk finds himself perfectly justified in being paranoid and not wanting Spock to spend too long around someone else.

James Tiberius Kirk makes sure to think Spock's unpronounceable name at him during sex. He might yell 'Spock!', but he thinks Spock's other name and delights in the shudders that causes in the usually stoic Vulcan. He's also discovered that thinking dirty thoughts at Spock during sex makes the Vulcan hotter – literally hotter. As in, his body temperature rises even higher than normal. Seeing as Spock's normal body temperature makes him sweat already, he's pretty sure most would think him crazy for wanting the Vulcan to get even hotter, but then they've never felt Spock's deliciously hot cock in their asses, so they can't talk about it. Or if they have, they damn well better not say a word or they'll suddenly lack their balls.

James Tiberius Kirk thinks that talking or thinking about Spock's older self – he was really annoyed about that whole 'Oh, the universe won't implode if he talk to each other' thing – makes his Spock kind of jealous. He's fairly sure it's jealousy, but he can't be sure because Spock – his Spock – hardly ever initiates mind melds outside of sex. This is probably so they don't jizz in their pants because there is something just inherently hot about being inside someone else's mind. But seeing as thinking about older Spock during sex would kill the mood entirely, he's going to carry on not being sure if his Spock is jealous of old Spock.

James Tiberius Kirk thinks he might die of embarrassment when they are given the formal tunics they need to wear to fit in on this planet. From what he can gather, the Felinusians parade around advertising whether they're single or not. Just by looking at the shoulder holes – where shoulder pads would be on human clothes – a passing Felinusian is able to tell whether or not another Felinusian is available or not. This, he is mortified to learn is because they cover each others' shoulders with love bites and stuff. Normally, Kirk would be fine with this, but last night he fucked Spock blind and has bruises on his shoulders where Spock was clinging to him. If Spock was here it wouldn't be so bad – he left a very impressive series of bites and scratches on Spock's shoulders – but alas, Spock is not planet-side. Again, Kirk still shouldn't be feeling as mortified, but in Felinusian society, they don't have same-sex couples – there is no drive to do such a thing and there never has been – so Kirk is so not looking forward to explaining that his (male) First Officer is responsible for the bruises.

James Tiberius Kirk thinks that he had hoped to never be in this situation again. He's staring at a board of Admirals, having been summoned here to explain why three planets that had had no record of homosexuality before he went there, now have thousands of gay couples suddenly appearing on them. Spock is being entirely unhelpful, merely standing off to one side and looking as unapproachable as ever, despite this being half his fault. The only thing Kirk is thankful for is that they repealed all the old anti-fraternisation laws decades ago. And yet still the Admirals are glaring at him like he's committed the most heinous crime ever. It's not even like he made out with Spock in public – in the first case (he was still trying to repress the memory of Felinusia) the clothes had forced him to explain, in the second he'd been offered the services of a nubile young girl (that completely reeked of prostitution to him) and in the third... well, that planet had been a bit oversexed and the people were mildly telepathic or something and he honestly hadn't meant to start a planet wide homosexuality telepathic bug. So yeah, not his fault.

James Tiberius Kirk thinks that his mother is awesome. Sure, he'd resented her absence early on in his life and then resented that he was a permanent reminder of the day his father died, but he'd come to see that she was an awesome mum. She'd been totally cool with him driving Frank's car off the ravine and had told him jokes and they'd been friends. If they hadn't shared a mother-son bond like she and Sam did, Jim didn't really care. Sam liked their stepfather and left Jim behind like everyone else did. Winona did too, but he understood that. But these days she's pure awesome because the first time she met Spock she called him a pointy-eared bastard who'd marooned her son on fucking _Hoth_ of all places. Then she'd tried to deck him. And then when Jim had grinned like a maniac and said that he and Spock were in a _Relationship_ she'd asked him why he hadn't said anything earlier. After which she had proceeded to make cookies. So yeah, his mum was all kinds of awesome.

James Tiberius Kirk thinks that Spock is the only person in the universe who will ever put up with him in a long term relationship. So far Spock hasn't complained about his libido, his intelligence or that he is a habitual flirt. All he complains about is his recklessness, inability to be logical and that he's a cheater. It makes a nice change of pace. All his previous boy/girlfriends couldn't cope with him being smarter than them, better looking than them, having better stamina than them or flirting with everyone even though he already had them. Some of those things can't actually be applied to him and Spock – Spock is easily as intelligent as he is and has huge amounts of stamina and is stronger than he is. But Jim still thinks (hopes) that people will find him more attractive. That way they won't try to steal Spock from him. As for the flirting... well, he still flirts with Spock more than anyone else.

James Tiberius Kirk thinks that Spock's dad, Sarek, is pretty cool in his own way. He's seen the bad times – like when Spock blew up in his classmates faces because they were being dipshits and when Spock declined joining the Vulcan Science Academy – but he's also seen the good times. Jim can't quite shake the feeling that Sarek loves Spock way more than any other Vulcan loves their kids. That, he thinks, is probably because of Spock's mum. But other ways that Sarek is cool is that when Spock told him he was in a _Relationship_ with Jim, Sarek didn't start battering them with how illogical it was, unlike some of the other Vulcans they'd told about it. Instead, Sarek had nodded and said that other Vulcans would find it illogical. Later on, Jim had told Spock – who'd been adorably confused – that Sarek had loved a human and probably understood that illogical emotion.

James Tiberius Kirk thinks that he has never been in love before. Not really. He wonders if anyone has been in love like he is. Not that he's being a romantic sap or anything – he cane name a billion things he loves about Spock, number one probably being that he's Spock, but Spock's cock would come in a very close second. He quite likes that. Spock's Cock. It rhymes. But still, he's pretty sure he's madly in love with Spock – he kind of understands why they say 'madly in love' now. He remembers saying that he loved other people – hell, there were even a few he did love – but none of them has ever been Spock.

James Tiberius Kirk does not think that Spock loves him. He knows.

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Well, I hope you liked it. I don't know whether they'll be more of a similar nature or if this will be the first, last and only piece of K/S slash I ever write.

_Rethira_


End file.
